Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Against The Glass

Life sure is interesting. One minute you think you have it all figured out and the next minute you realize you were a fool for thinking you knew anything at all. We've all been in both places and I'm guessing the latter is the best place for us.

The last year has been very rough, extremely rough but the Lord got me through it. I was actually in a rut for the first four or five months of this year because I was fighting against what the Lord wanted for me. I didn't even know I was blocking His will in my life, I thought all the bad was meant to break me so the Lord could replicate His image in me. Well, I was wrong.

Yes, the self does break but it's more of an uplifting for me as the Lord lifts me where He wants me to go and the old self just kinda remains where I used to be. It was really neat in a way, like looking at yourself from the outside. The old self isn't the only thing that remained behind either, some other nasty things decided to sit out this new journey.

Like my negative attitude. I was always a pessimist. Not necessarily doubting but not able to believe good things were meant for me. I believed I was meant to suffer and never feel love or able to live life or experience anything good for the remainder of my days but now, that has changed.

I am actually positive and I actually enjoy being positive. Hope is a wondrous thing and I find it to be quite healing in and of itself. Thankfully the Lord put a good friend in my life that helped me get through all the garbage, He's like that. 

Always wanting what's best for us and what not. We're just too dumb to realize it. Or maybe we are too caught up in our own lives or too busy to notice. We are a shameful lot, us humans. The things we should do we do not and the things we should not do we do. Like a raunchy comedy.

One thing I have learned through all this is to look at life in a certain way. With your breath against the glass. With each baited breath wondering what comes next as I wonder in amazement at all the Lord has for me and for us.